


You Can't Live by What-If's

by NerdyNostalgia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Advice, Allura Lives but everyone thinks she's gone, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Getting Together, Guilt, Longing, M/M, No-one knows if she's alive or dead, Not Epilogue Compliant, They just know she's gone, What-If, post-s8, talking things through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyNostalgia/pseuds/NerdyNostalgia
Summary: Shiro longs for Keith but feels far too guilty about what has happened between them to make a move. After some sound advice from Lance he wonders if he should take the chance. Before he can come to a decision Keith makes the first move.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Kudos: 29





	You Can't Live by What-If's

Shiro sighed for what must have been the millionth time that evening as he watched Keith talk with Hunk. His conversations with Keith had been stunted all day and he knew that it was his own fault. He longed to go over there and join in but something was stopping him. His guilt, his sense of unworthiness, or something else entirely; whatever it was he wasn’t sure but he knew that it was putting distance between himself and his best friend. He looked down at the table and away from Keith. It wasn’t long before his gaze was pulled back to his best friend.

“You know you could go over there.” Lance said as he sat down.

Shiro turned his head and tilted his head in question. Lance chuckled and gestured towards Hunk and Keith.

“You can talk to them, they don’t bite.” He said teasingly.

Shiro sighed again, “That’s not it.”

Lance’s expression softened, “Your head is lying to you.”

Shiro snapped his head towards the former Blue Paladin, “What?”

“Let me guess, your head is telling you that you don’t deserve him, that you hurt him too much to ask for more, that he would be better off without you.”

“What? How?”

Lance smiled, “No offence but its been more than a little obvious since you’ve begun to pull away from Keith.”

Shiro lowered his head in shame that he’d been caught. Lance patted his shoulder in sympathy, “You may not want my advice but I’m going to give it to you anyway, go over and talk to him,” Lance sighed, “I really struggled with feeling worthy of Allura. I never felt good enough. After all, I’m just a normal guy and she’s a Princess. How, why would she want me? Even during our brief relationship I never felt good enough. So I know how you’re feeling. But you know what, I wouldn’t exchange the time I got with her for anything. I’m so glad that I did get that chance, no matter how brief it was. In the end it was worth it. I’ll always miss her, always wish that she was here but taking that chance was so worth it. It’ll never be something that I regret, how could I?”

Lance patted Shiro on the shoulder again, “I know it’s difficult but try to let go of the fear because it will not only eat you alive but it’ll ruin your life. It’ll stop you from gaining something that is magnificent. Sure, you may move on and find happiness or contentment with another but you’ll always wonder what if. Not taking the chance will haunt you. It’ll affect any life you build without him. Trust me, take the chance. Even if it doesn’t ultimately work out, at least you can say that you tried. Don’t live with the regret of not trying Shiro.”

With that Lance got up and joined Pidge and Coran in whatever they were discussing. Shiro sat stunned. Lance’s words had struck a nerve, affected something inside of him. He looked over at Lance and his heart went out to him. He was clearly struggling with Allura’s disappearance more than he was letting on. He couldn’t deny that he had given some good advice and he knew deep down that what he was saying was true. He had already felt the regret eating at him, trying to pull him towards Keith and take a chance. The fear had always won in the battle of wills though. He didn’t want to open that can of worms but he knew that he needed to if he and Keith were going to move forward in their friendship, let alone anything more. He just knew that it was going to be the toughest thing he had ever done. He had fought countless aliens, survived in a brutal arena, and been brought back to life but all of it paled in comparison to opening himself up to Keith.

He swallowed and looked over. He saw that Keith was looking at him and smiled. He smiled back and Shiro felt butterflies in his stomach. He felt like a teenager with his first crush at how Keith made him feel. He felt like he was navigating brand new territory and in a way he was. He and Adam had gone straight into a relationship whereas he and Keith would go from friendship to relationship and the thought of messing it up terrified him. He didn’t have the best track record when it came to relationships and the idea of ruining what he had with Keith had him running in the opposite direction. How could he put the most important relationship he had in his life on the line? But then wasn’t he doing that but staying silent?

He sighed as he grew increasingly confused. What was he supposed to do? Was there a right thing to do or should he just do what he wanted?

He looked out at the garden and took a deep breath. He had never felt so conflicted.

He was brought out of his thoughts when the chair beside him scraped across the floor. He looked over and was surprised to see Keith. He looked around and noticed that they were now alone. He wondered how long he had been staring. He looked back at Keith and was shocked to see that the younger man seemed nervous. What could he be nervous about?

Keith looked down at his lap before looking up at Shiro, “Shiro we need to talk.”

“What about?” He asked, even though he knew the answer. His heart beat wildly in his chest as the conversation he had been trying to avoid was clearly about to happen.

“About everything that happened, the clone facility, what Haggar did to you, to us,” He sighed, “Everything.”

“Where do you want to start?” Shiro could feel his hand getting sweaty. He didn’t know why he was scared, but he was.

“Shiro…”

“I’m sorry.” The words blurted out of his mouth before he could think about them. Both men looked shocked at Shiro’s words.

“Sorry?” Keith asked.

“I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

He reached up and hesitated before putting his flesh hand on Keith’s cheek. He ran his thumb over it, feeling the difference in textures of his skin and scar, “For this. I’m so sorry I hurt you, for the words that I said during our fight. I said things that I knew would hurt you and I regret them so much. I’m just, I’m sorry. It never should have happened.”

He looked down and started to pull his hand away but was stopped when Keith reached up and put his own hand over Shiro’s, leaning into the touch.

“Shiro, you don’t need to apologise for that. The things you said just confirmed to me that it was Haggar controlling you and that you weren’t yourself. In all the time that I’ve known you, you’ve been nothing but supportive and have never used what I’ve told you against me. It just confirmed to me that something was wrong, that I needed to save you. As for the scar, it’s a small price to pay for your return. All that could’ve happened and all I got was one scar and got you back. It’s a price I’d pay a thousand times.”

“Keith…” Shiro couldn’t believe what Keith was saying, “I’m not worth it.”

“You are to me. You always have been.”

Shiro felt emotion bubbling up as he took in the young man in front of him. It was overwhelming to know he mattered so much to someone. He took in a shuddering breath and Keith continued, “I once promised you that I would save you as many times as it takes and I meant. It’s the least I could do after you never gave up on me and I’ll never give up on you.”

Shiro chuckled wetly, “That really stuck with you, huh?”

Keith laughed, “My life would have been a lot different if it hadn’t been for you.”

The two laughed again and Shiro ran his thumb over his cheek again. They shared a smile before Shiro looked down at his lap.

“I still feel guilty. I hurt you. I hurt the team.”

“We forgive you. I forgive you. There was no question about it.”

“It doesn’t take away the guilt.”

Keith sighed, “I know it doesn’t but if I have to tell you every day that I forgive you then I will. You should let go of the guilt. I know it’s not easy but we can work on it together.”

Shiro smiled, “We can, can we?”

“Yeah, if you want to.”

“Yeah, I do,” Shiro chuckled, “There’s a lot that I need to work on.”

“And I’ll be here the entire time.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I feel the same.”

Silence descended over the two as they stared at each other. Shiro felt the sudden urge to lean in and close the gap between them. Without thinking much more about it he followed the urge and leaned in. Keith’s eyes widened for a moment before his lips met Shiro’s. The kiss lasted no more than two seconds before Shiro pulled back. He felt mortified that he’d done that.

He opened his mouth to apologise when Keith reached out and put both of his hands on his shoulders, “Don’t apologise.”

“What…?”

Shiro couldn’t say any more as Keith had closed the gap between them and kissed him. His eyes widened as Keith pulled away.

“I told you before Shiro, I love you.”

“But I thought…”

“Thought?”

Shiro sighed, “I didn’t think you loved me _that_ way.”

“Well, I do.” He said before kissing him again.

Shiro smiled, “I get that now, but are you sure?”

“Sure about what?”

“Sure that you want me, want this? I mean I’m broken, damaged. I hurt you and our friends. I was used as a weapon against you. Our relationship…”

“...is worth fighting for,” Keith interrupted, “Shiro, I know I don’t have much experience, well any experience, when it comes to relationships but I know that you matter to me and I’m not willing to give this up without a fight. Unless…”

“I want this. I do, I’m just...afraid.” Shiro answered quickly.

“Afraid?”

“I’m bad at relationships, if past experience is anything to go by. I’m not great at getting my priorities straight and tend to focus on work too much. I’m scared that I will mess this up and that’s the last thing I want. This is far too important to fail at.”

“If it makes you feel better, I have nothing to compare it to.”

“Keith.”

“What? It’s true. This is my first relationship and I know that I want you in my life no matter what. Considering all that’s happened between us I doubt there’s anything you could do to make me not want to be with you.”

Shiro rolled his eyes and laughed, “You really know how to overwhelm a guy you know that?”

Keith chuckled, “First time for everything.”

Shiro laughed again and leaned forward. He gave Keith a quick kiss before wrapping his arms around him, “I love you Keith.”

“I love you too Shiro.” Keith replied as he wrapped his arms around him.

Knowing that they were going to  working on this together and taking a chance on what was between them lifted a weight from Shiro’s shoulders. He knew that Lance had been right, he couldn’t live in what-ifs and live with the regret. Simply knowing that they were together made him feel happier than he ever had. Despite the fact that Keith had been the one to make the first move Shiro felt like he was free of fear for the first time since he’d woken up in the clone’s body. He knew that it would make a reappearance at some point but as long as he had Keith by his side, he knew that he could get through it and not let it stop him.


End file.
